Male

Hi My Name Is: Tuartara (i.e., Mr. Spiny Back)...

Tuartaras have survived this earth for 230 million years. Similar to its species' longevity, individuals boast long life lines as well. Most tuartarras live to see more than 100 candles on their birthday cakes. They reach sexual maturity between 10 and 20 years old, but may be much much older before actually putting their prowess to procreation-use. For example, Henry, an inhabitant of the Southland Museum in Invercargill, New Zealand, just fathered his first lizard brood of 11 at the white-whiskery age of 111; his much younger mate is his junior by 41 years (although, they didn't meet on "paymybills.com").

As is their reptilian nature, tuataras are ectothermic, meaning that they are unable to generate their own heat, with an optimal body temp between 16-21C (but they remain comfortable (and alive) at as low as 7C). Temperature dictates more than every day life for tuataras; in fact, it is the deciding factor when it comes to the sex of a hatchling tuatara. At over 72F, the brand new baby tuatara is likely to be male, and under that is likely to give way to female. It gets more severe though because if it gets much hotter than 72, all hatchlings will invariably (that's what I mean by "all") be male.

Thus, the current plight of the tuatara population: The spiny-back buggers aren't much for elevations, so that limits their ability to expand their habitats, and many of the select areas they do live are getting much too hot to foster females. By 2085, it is expected that no females at all would be possible in some areas.

After weathering the Mesozoic and merely flicking their tongues in the face of volcanoes and the ice ages, it would be a hot day indeed were the tuataras to finally draw this singular line in the sizzling sand. 

Life sometimes can be male.
  Male: --adj.
Of, or pertaining to, or being a male animal or plant

Holy Sh*t!

Felix Baumgartner is an Austrian daredevil with over 2,000 sky dives under his parachute belt. His latest coup is to attempt the highest sky dive ever, which is a breath-taking (literally) 120,000 feet. Refer to the diagram below for some perspective:

 

While 120,000 feet is still off of proper "space" by over 200,000 miles, it will send him beyond the stratosphere (the earth's second layer of major atmosphere) and the Armstrong line; the latter of which means that his insides would be at boiling point were it not for the specialized pressure suit and helmet he'll be wearing.

Like many other strange occurrences, Felix's undertaking will be staged from Roswell, New Mexico. If the fall is successful, he'll break four records: The highest parachute jump (U.S. Air Force pilot Kittinger fell from 102,300 feet back in 1960. Felix is employing a helium balloon to accomplish the additional 18,000 feet.); First human to break the sound barrier without the use of a vehicle (Felix is expected to exceed 680mph and will be wearing four satellite/navigation units in order to record the speed for his information while falling as well as record-keeping (and breaking).); Longest free fall time (Felix should take about five and half minutes to fall...long enough to eat a bag of chips that he probably won't have room for in his suit); Highest manned balloon flight (infrared and microwave balloons have been released beyond water-vapor points in order to view cosmos, but Felix will be the first person to be in a device aptly capable because the helium balloon that will get him (within a capsule) to the launch height will be the first such device with a human being in it; however, Felix, obviously, won't be returning in the balloon, so this fourth record is considered unofficial).

With many 23-mile high questions now addressed, Felix's jump off is marked for Tuesday; what's on  your calendar?

Life sometimes can be holy sh*t.

  Holy sh*t: --adj.

beyond belief, exceptional in some way that defies decorous language