Perverted

He is blue, he is fuzzy, he looks like a bear.  In fact...he looks like a blue Carebear because that's what he is.  No doubt.

It is miniature, it has two big wheels in back and two small wheels in front, it is intended for the handicapped.  In fact, it is a wheelchair.  A toy wheelchair.

BLUE CAREBEAR + TOY WHEELCHAIR = BLUE CAREBEAR IN TOY WHEELCHAIR.  This is the scene I survey from beyond the steam of my Tall drip coffee outside the Starbucks where I've taken to posting myself like a resident owl; I'm always on the watch, eyes open and wondering "who? who? who?...who are these people?"

I send an instant message to my best friend describing the hilarity of a little girl enthusiastically pushing her blue companion in the plastic wheelchair that came from...(I can't even imagine where a seven year old girl procures a plastic toy wheelchair that is the perfect size for a stuffed animal).  I send this message with one eye fixed on the apparently, but still disturbingly happy, disabled orsine, and my inner eye fixed on...well, something else, clearly...because the message I send describes the blue careBARE--as in bare a**, as in bare a** naked because you're having sex.  Poor Carebear--not only is he (or she, to make an attempt at being PC) disabled, (and blue to boot which may qualify him as a minority), but now I've perverted his name (although, maybe not without merit because he does look pretty damn naked to me because that tattoo on his chest does not qualify as clothing).

Life sometimes can be perverted. 
Perverted:  –adjective

1. changed to or being of an unnatural or abnormal kind;

2. turned from what is right; wicked; misguided; distorted